Transsexuals who want to enhance the shape and size of their breast most commonly rely on dangerous drugs and steroids. Most of the drugs such as steroids have lot of adverse effects. Visiting doctors and telling them medical history again and again is very embarrassing. Males who are male-to-female transsexuals, cross dressers, gender benders and female impersonators now don’t have to worry about their breast growth. All of them can have desirable shape and size of their breasts.
One of the popular types of breast augmentation is known as pectoral augmentation. This type of augmentation is opted by people who work hard on their pectoral muscles but do not get desired results. Pectoral augmentation gives a beautiful appearance to male chest and shoulders.
Male breast augmentation increases self confidence in transsexuals and help them to find their identity. The male breast augmentation have same procedure, risks and complications as female mammoplasty. Most important thing you need to do when you decide to go under male breast augmentation is to find a qualified plastic surgeon. Surgeon should understand your feelings and you should discuss your expectations and worries with him.
Various types of breast augmentation methods are used to give a new look to breast. The most common methods used are saline implantation and silicone gel shell implantation.
If you think that only women is using method of mammoplasty to enhance the shape and size of their breasts then you are wrong. There is growing number of males who are opting for male breast augmentation surgery.
Frequently Asked Questions
How To Increase Breast Size?
I’m 21 and I’m tired of being an A cup. How do I increase my breast size? I am not comfortable with the idea of surgery.. but I’ve heard of this hormone treatment that helps transsexuals gain breasts.. would it work on a woman? Also what is breast augmentation and what does that entail?
Do I need to seek a GP for hormone treatment or can I just buy some products for this treatment online?
oh girl, we all want that answer…i have had two kids and for me they didin’t stay big afterwards, they went back to what they had been…i considered augmentation (surgery for implants) also but i have finally come to feel my body was hot enough to land and keep my man for 13 yrs so far so why do i want to change it so badly..love what ya got cause you could end up in a heap of trouble down the road from doing unnatural things to your bod…if that is your pic,don’t worry you’re hot
Transsexual piercing ears?
I am a pre-op transsexual going full-time for about 2 years. I had breast augmentation, rhinoplasty, double eyelid surgery, face reshaping, (cheek bone implant, brow lift, botox etc.) and hip implants. Will people except me with pierced earrings now?
Yes, pierced ears should be perfectly fine.
Beautiful girl likes me but she is really a transsexual, what should I do?
There has been a girl at work I have been crazy about.. She is so beautiful, has amazing blonde hair, a beautiful body and dresses in sexy smart business wear.
I bumped into her in a night club and we got talking then dancing and were about to kiss when she ran off.
Her friend came over to explain. She did not want to lead me on because the girl I have fallen for is a pre-op transsexual (basically she has had a breast augmentation and facial surgery but is keeping her male bits)
I really cannot believe she was not born a girl she is so beautiful, I have fallen for her in a big way. I also am glad the chat I had with her friend she explained everything to me and how she did not want to trick me.
I fancy her so much and appriciate the way she has handled it but she is a pre-op transsexual and according to her friend has a enjoyable sex life with boyfriends.
I don’t know what to do – I am in love with a transsexual. Should I ask her out? What about the sex life?
I hope not to offend any transsexuals and appologise if I have used the wrong words.
I just can’t decide what to do I like her so much but never considered a realationship with a pre-op transsexual.
The only friend I have spoken to says it is gay but she still is a beautiful girl that I an attracted to – please help
Some people are saying wait for her to have her sex change op. She is going to remain a pre-op – will this be an issue?
If you’re that smitten with her, ask her out. Date her for a while; you don’t have to be thinking about sex from the outset.
When, or if, your relationship progresses to the point where sex becomes an option, talk to her about it; ask her what she likes sexually, tell her what you like, and experiment; there’s MUCH more to sex than penis/vagina intercourse.
And please, don’t take any notice of those uninformed people who will insist that she’s ‘really a man’ and therefore you ‘must be gay’; if she’s a transsexual woman (regardless of surgery), neither of these are true.
Survey: Would you date a MTF transsexual?
MTF (Male-to-Female) transsexuals are people who were born biologically male but have or will become female by undergoing procedures such as gender reassignment surgery, breast augmentation, laser hair removal, and hormone replacement therapy.
Would you ever consider dating one of these individuals?
Please include your gender and sexual orientation, as well as yes/no/maybe.
For Example: “Male – Straight – Yes”
Thank you in advance.
Female – Straight – No I wouldn’t, I am not a lesbian.
LGBT: How much does transsexual SRS cost?
and how about FFS and breast augmentation?
SRS. Depends on a few factors:
Who the surgeon is.
Where the surgery will take place
What kind of quality you want
In North America SRS costs -26,0000. You can get good quality SRS from a major surgeon in Thailand for about half that. For links to surgeons see my answer here:
FFS. Again it varies. The Big 3 in the US are Dr Ousterhout in San Francisco (expensive), Dr Spiegel in Boston and Dr Zukowski in Chicago. There fees can range from -45,000. The two Thai surgeons I here the most about are Dr Suporn and Dr Chettawut. But judging from the pics you’ve posted I don’t your face is the top priority right now.
BAS. Breast augmentation usually runs -8,000 and can be done by most any experinced plastic surgeon.
Why do non Transsexual People ?
One of the most common questions here is when should people born Transsexual reveal there Medical History. The majority of non Transsexual people seem to think prior to a first date. Usually with in 5 seconds of meeting a person.
So I am wondering when Women not born transsexual tell there prospective dates that they have had Breast Augmentation? Ho about Botox injections? Have you had any facial surgery or body contouring with liposuction? What about your teeth? Have you had crowns and veneers?
Guys have you had any of the above procedures? What about erections? Do you have E.D.? Do you rely on Viagra or Cialis to get erect? If so don’t you think it is being dishonest and deceptive to not tell your potential partners right away.
What about your vision? Are you being deceptive if you wear colored contacts?
Have you had any corrective surgery for any condition you were born with such as cleft palette/lip, heart or kidney problems? How about diabetes? Past cancers?
I am just wondering when you tell so that I can be consistent when I tell people about my transsexualism.
The problem all boils down to the fact that people can’t wrap their heads around the concept that…
NOBODY CHANGES GENDER!
Transsexual people correct their BODIES to match the GENDER OF THEIR BRAIN. Did everyone get that? Once again, loud and clear…
TRANSSEXUAL PEOPLE CORRECT THEIR BODIES TO MATCH THEIR BRAIN GENDER. They do not “become the opposite sex.”
If someone dates a Transsexual woman, they are dating a FEMALE. She has always been female, regardless of whether she looked like a male, or a border collie.
The brain is the seat of a person’s identity, ALL their identity. Good or evil, sane or insane, your brain is who you are. Your brain is what makes you male or female, an optimist or pessimist, a theist or an atheist, a liberal or a conservative, an altruist or a miser, even a criminal or law-abiding person. If a woman served prison time because she was a thief, or she neglected her child, or if she was an addict of some kind and is in recovery, or if she cheated on her last two husbands, it’s her brain that makes her this type of person. How many men would want to get involved with a woman like this? Darn few I’d imagine, but nobody can know these things about a person unless the person either tells them, or there are enough signs that the man intuits it and asks her.
This is the nature of relationships. We all take people at face-value, because we have no other choice (unless you’ve got some friends in the CIA.) It would be great if we could read a persons mind when we first meet them and KNOW immediately if there was anything in their past we might find unacceptable. Since we can’t, we TAKE A CHANCE, and base our assessment of them on what they choose to tell us, and their appearance. This goes for all people, not just Transsexual people.
A person who corrected their Transsexualism might scare a lot of people out there, but is what this person did to their body really so bad? Is Transsexualism really something to fear? We’re talking about a person who was born with a very complex birth condition, not an ex-con, or an abusive parent, or a cheating spouse. We’re talking about a medical condition that the person went through hell and back to correct, and you can be pretty damn sure that a Transsexual woman who makes it through Transition has a female brain, because damn few people would go through this process just to “trick men” into sleeping with a man. And that really is the the big problem after all, right… straight men who don’t want to be “duped” into having sex with a person who (they believe) used to be a man?
It doesn’t matter if this Transwoman has the same physical dimensions as a born female, or if she sounds like any other woman. It doesn’t matter if she has soft skin, or large breasts, or long, silky hair, or if she smells beautiful. It doesn’t matter if her genitals are indistinguishable form a born woman’s genitals. It doesn’t matter if she is the most amazing, most feminine woman he’s ever slept with. Apparently, no matter how female a person looks, sounds, acts, smells, tastes, feels, thinks and behaves, the person is only a considered a woman in a man’s mind if he BELIEVES she born this way.
We all have deal-breakers when it comes to partners. We all have things we simply will not accept. Personally, I cannot date a smoker, or someone who gets physically violent when they are angry. If I married such a person and found out after the fact, I would leave them. I certainly would NOT want to date someone with a criminal record, or who abuses animals, or who compulsively shoplifts, and depending on the severity of a person’s problems, I might choose to leave them over it, but because I UNDERSTAND what Transsexualism is, I could never imagine leaving a person because of a medical problem they had no control over, which they corrected before I knew them. The bottom line is, if I didn’t know they were born Transsexual before they told me, then the person was obviously convincing enough that I believed they were the gender I thought they were. Whether we like it or not, most of the time our perception is our reality. Faced with this new reality, do I suddenly decide that all the feelings (or love) I had for this person wasn’t real? Perception is reality. If I respect a person, I respect that there may be parts of their life I don’t know about, or may NEVER know about. If these parts don’t affect me, then what difference does it make? A difference which makes no difference, IS no difference.
My transsexual friend – what should I do?
I have a really close friend and work colleague.. When I first met him I though he was just a feminate guy. He did once make a pass at me and I graciously declined as I don’t consider myself gay however I was flattered.
After knowing each other for several years he confessed he was a transsexual and could no longer go on the way he/she was.
After consultaion with medical personel and necessary management she took 2 months off and came back to work full time as a girl. I have always remained supportive and spoken up for her to anybody that has critisied or insulted her. I was the first person to visit after her breast augmentation. etc
Because she transitioned at a failry early age and has been on hormones for 3.5 years she is now a beautiful woman although currently pre-operative.
I am really pleased that she is happy however the more feminine she becomes the more I am attracted to her(probably fallen in love). Is there a chance she will still like me? What should I do
I think you should tell her what you think. If there was an attraction before her transition then the chances are she will like you potentially even more. Although sexuality is seperate from gender, I believe that if she liked you when she was in a male body then to make her feel even more of a girl certain things like dating guys, being in a straight relationship and dare I say sexual relations with a guy are seen as the norm for a hetrosexual girl.
It might seem strange to see this guy who is a close friend turn into a beautiful object of desire but by the sounds of it you have fallen for her.
You seem to view her as a girl which is right. You might think there are issues that she is a pre-operative transsexual but you fall in love with a person and not a gender. Sex is not about the body it is an expression of love between 2 people. Tell her what you think and I hope you have a long and happy relationship
Transsexual or shemale?
The girl I have fallen for was born in a male body. She is probably the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, she is the last person you would imagine was a guy. She has had breast augmentation, facial surgery but fully intends to keep her “male bits” and she seeks a very active sex life as she is.
I am new to the transgendered world.. is she a girl/a transsexual/shemale/ladyboy or other
“she” is male
Do all transsexuals want to go all the way and have full SRS or are some happy to only go some of the way?
I am about to transition. The most important thing to me is to appear as a female therefore breast augmentation, facial femmisation is far more important than SRS.
I saw a programe and a girl was saying she was quite happy to remain pre-op. I am so keen to pass as a girl but for example if I had a boyfriend that did not want me to remove “my bits” I would really consider keeping them.
Not all Transsexuals go for SRS and ultimately it really depends on what you are comfortable with.
Ok having said that I’m now going to level with you because I think you may not realise what you could be up against and it’s better that you hear it from someone who is moderately sympathetic.
One point that you should consider carefully is that many people (myself included I am ashamed to say) do find people who are neither fully male or female quite disturbing. That certainly doesn’t make it wrong but it could make your life more complex and maybe even more dangerous as you are likely to come up against prejudice some of which could be fairly unpleasant.
I guess what I am trying to say is that while we all have to be comfortable with ourselves we also do have to live in a world shared with others and sometimes it pays to try to conform to accepted physical norms at least to some extent.
You say you want to pass as a girl. Well, without wishing to hurt you, to my mind speaking as a Lesbian, anyone who hasn’t got the right girly bits down below doesn’t pass the most fundamental physical test and qualify as female at all! In my eyes if you still have the dangly bits then you are regrettably still 100% male and I don’t care how girly you make your face or chest look. I’m honestly not trying to offend you here but it is better that you realise what you will be up against if you go for this half and half solution now.
Some Lesbians and males don’t even accept people who have had surgery but I’m more open minded than many on that point. I would certainly have no problem dating a post-op TS (and in fact I have already done so) but I would never ever touch a pre-op I am afraid.
My point is that if you really do want to pass properly then you can’t really expect to do that all of the time if you still have bulges in some of the wrong places.
Also I really don’t think that you should allow your boyfriend’s preferences to be the determining factor. People are notoriously fickle and ultimately it has to be what YOU are comfortable with that counts.
Finally having dated a post-op TS I would say don’t rush into Breast Augmentation… wait a bit and see what nature develops for you naturally when you go on hormones. You may be pleasantly surprised and a natural breast is always nicer to feel than a silcone one.
Anyway that is my twopence worth. What ever you do decide I hope you will be happy with it. But make it YOUR decision and not your current boyfriends.
Should I come out as a transsexual or not?
I have had a hard journey in life but I am now in a happy place. I always felt I should have been born a girl and had to become one. I had a very hard time at school, university and work even my family told me to drop out and find a new job.
Any way I reached my 2 goals in 1998. I qualified as a lawyer and I started to live full time as a woman. Since then I have been on hormones and had surgery (Facial and breast augmentation) although still currently remain pre-operative.
I like to consider myself pretty much 100% passable in that I work for a large company and nobody knows my past life. I also have dated a few guys who were unaware.
The issue I have is – One of my close friends is a journalist and she knows about my past. She wants to do an article about me and who I have gone from my no hope depressed school boy to successful female lawyer. She has also set up a tasteful photo shoot ie just me dressed in work clothes outside my work etc.
I so want to do this because I want to show young transsexuals that they can be a success and become the woman of their dreams. Without being full of myself but I want to try and be a positive roll model to hopefully inspire others to take the first step.
The down side is there are a lot of people both at work and in my social life that might see this and out me. I have had a long difficult journey and now just want a quiet life and enjoy being a woman.
Should I do this article or not?
I would write up a list of pros and cons to doing this article, then tear the list up and listen to my heart.
You can be a positive role model without exposing yourself to possible retaliation from narrow minded people. Keep the facts in the story but change the names. I wouldn’t think less of someone for doing that.
There are already a few good role models out there if you look for them. I think all the guys and girls on YouTube documenting their transitions are excellent role models for anyone and everyone.
Young Transsexual in need of advice.?
I am 17 and since I was about 3 I knew I had been born in the wrong body. I was born a boy although I should have been a girl. I hate everything about being male and my only desire is to become the girl I should be.
I have told my mum and big sister and they have actual, after a bit of time, been really good about it although I feel I am not moving fast enough.
I dress as a girl at home all the time, have grown my hair long and pierced my ears. I love to be a girl at home, I have plenty of clothes (including a girl’s school uniform), make-up etc.
My mum says I have to wait till I am 18 and if I still want to be a girl she will help me transition however this is not quick enough for me. I understand that it takes time but I want to be on hormones now and breast augmentation this year so I can live full time as a girl
My dream is by 21 to be a full-time hairdresser living with a boyfriend wearing short skirts tights every day! With a long term goal of one day marrying him!
Ha Ha very good Diane!
I can assure you my boyfriend will not be wearing the skirts and tights just me!
I don’t know what the correct advice to give is but you are certainly one determined girl. I say go for it although I am biased because a 21 year old full-time t-girl that wears short skirts and tights every day is exactly the kind of girl I would go for!
Seriously though talk to your mum tell her what it means to you. You could also highlight the earlier the transition starts the more successful it will be. Obviously she is worried you transition become a beautiful girl and then change your mind therefore emphasis this is the most important thing to you.
I would love to hear from you!
Transsexual the final operation?
I am in my late teens and have lived as a girl for a while. I have been on hormones a number of years and recently had facial feminization surgery and breast augmentation.
I always felt happy to remain non-op but recently this has changed. I saw a programme of a girl having her SRS operation and since them have not stopped thinking that is what I want.
I had always ruled this op out but now that I fully understand that surgery can create a fully functioning female me I really want that op.
I now dream of dating guys that don’t even know my past. Would guys be able to tell me past if we were making love?
Is it odd that I want this operation after so long of ruling it out.
How long after the op can a girl make love with a guy?
Most doctors say 6 weeks. My experience says longer. YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary).
Zedekiah: Please don’t comment on something you don’t have DIRECT experience with.
1. Surgery is NOT painful. As Calpernia Addams would say: My doctor used A-N-E-S-T-H-E-S-I-A. Maybe doctors where you live don’t know about this wonderful medical advancement, but my doctor used A-N-E-S-T-H-E-S-I-A. Seriously though pain is strictly a YMMV thing. I had some discomfort and that was it. And most of my discomfort was from constipation, not my surgical site!
2. There are basically 3 types of surgery out there:
a. Penile Inversion-90% of all surgery.
b. Non-penile-Dr Suporn (and now others) are using different tissues to create the vagina.
c. Colon segment-Used very little, mainly to correct poor prior surgeries. Much more invasive and longer to heal.
Lots of information is available on-line about all the techniques and surgeons.
3. Approximately 90% of post-ops are orgasmic, which is basically on par with natal females. Very few people are completely without feeling. All the nerves are left intact! That said I always advise people to use one off the top docs to be sure of a good result.
4. Although not an “actual” vagina, the new vagina is made from homologous tissues that have a fantastic ability to adapt to their new function. The only thing that is lacking is sufficient lubrication (most girls do have some). But many natal gals need lube too! The glans is homologous to the clitoris. The scrotum is homologous to the the outer labia. And the prostate shrinks under the influence of estrogen and basically becomes your G spot (another homologous structure)!
5. My vagina is not an “open wound”. That’s an outright lie! It’s beautiful and looks like anybody elses. True you have to dilate, but that’s only to train the surrounding tissue that the vagina is there to stay. You dilate a lot at first and then less in time. Usually by 2 years out the body has adopted the new part and you only need to dilate a couple times a month. Or you can just use a “human dilator”
6. A persons medical history is PRIVATE. Nobody is required to disclose, it is strictly an individual decision. Nuff said.
7. Chromosomes do NOT determine gender! There are women who are XY (google Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome) and men who are XX (google male XX syndrome). Don’t fall into that trap! Hormones don’t determine gender either! A study done at UCLA indicate that the brain is gendered BEFORE hormones start to be produced by the fetus. Gender is whatever the individual says it is!
8. Not all men want children! Not all women are fertile. Some natal women are even born without a vagina (google MRKH Syndrome). Don’t fall into that trap!
9. Hey buddy, hormones do a lot more than make boobs! It softens skin, thickens hair on your head, lessens hair elsewhere, increases facial fat, redistributes body fat in general, decreases upper body musculature, alters how you sense the world (hearing, sight, smell, touch), alters moods and can even change eye color! You basically become your female self!
10. I am not “technically male” for the reasons I’ve already explained. Plus I was NEVER male to begin with. That’s what you don’t understand Z. I also have a new birth certificate that says FEMALE on it. What do you think about that Z? You fail to understand why people transition to begin with. Before transition our brain and bodies do not match and life is hell. Transition alters the body to match the mind and at the same time society come to see the real you and treats you different. They treat you as the gender you’ve always been, but they couldn’t see. Transition gives us completeness and authenticity.
11. Scar tissue? You have no idea what you’re talking about! As I explained before, after about 2 years you only have to dilate a couple times a month to maintain patency. And keep your moralization about casual sex to yourself!
12. Hormones for life. Not true. Many people stop hormones all together at some point. I for one won’t be one of those. Why? Because my brain loves estrogen! The black cloud that followed me everywhere previously disipated once I started estrogen! Another reason to stay on HRT is bone density. Without hormones in your body both natal women and women born transsexual can get osteoporosis.
13. Umm last time I checked guys don’t care if a girl has a uterus, fallopian tubes or a cervix. Do you check before sex? And let’s remember many natal women have had hysterectomies that remove those same organs. I don’t consider my vagina fake. I have a vagina period.
Stop trying to make this girl feel bad!
14. Some guys can be real jerks. But most girls know this and take precautions. But I think you’re guilty of stereotyping your own sex! Certainly you’re not saying ALL men are like that?
15. She may only be a teen, but only she knows what she needs. Don’t be judging others! You have no idea what she’s been through. What you don’t understand is that people born transsexual need to transition like you need to breath. To lead happy, fulfilling lives they must transition. Living as half a person is incredibly difficult. It’s not a coincidence that the suicide rate for people boorn transsexual is quite high. That goes way down if they are allowed to transition. So they get to be happy, society gets a productive citizen and the medical dollars are no longer tied up dealing with depressions and suicide attempts. What’s not to like? Everybody wins.
Don’t judge others.
Don’t guilt trip others.
This isn’t about selfishness either, it’s about IDENTITY.
She is not pretending. She has always been a female!
My boyfriend decided he was a transsexual and I payed for all of her transition…?
In case you can’t figure it out, he became a she . After she got all well and better after the surgeries and she broke up with me. We were together for about 3 years.
The things I’ve payed for are things like the physiologist, hormone therapy, breast augmentation, new cheek bones and of course a vagina.
She took all my money and then broke my heart. I’m not in debt. I have a lot of money that I normally just send to charities. It’s the principle of the thing. What can I do?
This isn’t funny. Why are you making jokes and not answering the question? I’m asking for genuine help. What can I do?
Hello Davie, Im so sorry to hear what she did to you that is not right but some people in our community are no good. You can’t get the money back for what you did for her. If you have good memories hold them close to heart and let her go. There is someone beautiful out here for you baby but please be careful and dont fall for the first doll that passes by take your time and move on properly date a little and find the Mr Right not Right Now. My other advise is to be sparing with your money and dont try and impress him he doesnt need to know you have money till things look like they are going to last more than a little while. Be careful with you money and your heart and everything is going to be alright
Would you change genders for money or anything?
Assuming you have absolutely no transsexual desires would you swap genders for anything ie £1m, part of the witness protection scheme or to become famous.
This would involve a huge amount spent and breast augmentation, facial feminization etc to make you 100% passable would you do it? If your option was to be a poor man or a rich woman what would you choose
Good question, as I’ve fantasised about being a sexy woman with the perfect body for years, and I have to say that I would be a Lesbian also because I’m only attracted to Women!
However, I’m used to being a Man and unless I was seriously paid to become transgendered, I’ll remain as I am because I’m in a relationship and my partner is straight and wants to be with me for the rest of her life!
Quite an indecent proposal that question lol!
Why do transsexuals always look different to women?
I have a transexual freind and shes a really nice person. Shes having to sleep with lots of men to make money to become a girl. I know transsexual ladies spend lots of money on hormone tablets and electrolysis and breast augmentation and plastic surgery to try to look like a woman and have their adama apple shaved down. So how comes you can still tell? I am looking at Lynn Conways TransexualsSuccesses but they still all have something wrong. Like evn if they look good in 1 pic, they look like a guy in another pic. Why can’t someone invent a way for them to change properly so no one can tell anymore? Like, maybe genetic engineering or somthing?
Nong Poy is definitely one of the best. But her legs and shoulders look wrong – not in evry picture, but if you look at this Youtube ideo maybe youll see what I mean.
Or search on Youtube:
Nong Poy (after & before SRS)
The reason u dont always notice transexual ladies on the street is cuz no one notices much about anybody anyway. and also cuz if you saw a transexual looking lady u wudnt say anything cuz its rude. besides lots of ppl cant tell. i know this. but those who can are able to. maybe i can tell cuz my freind is suffering and she shares her expereinces with me.
so i know what to look for?
Pls dont say TS are men cuz u r breaking their heart. it is hard enough to be born in the rong body without ppl being mean.
@Sterling U r an asshole! ofcorse I told her not to sell her body. but no one will give her the money she needs for her jorney. what can she do?
the ones who make their living by “looking like a woman” can actually get quite good at it. they spend hours with makeup, binding here and puffing there and all that stuff. normal people with normal lives don’t have that kind of time and energy to spend on anything as superficial as “looking like a woman.”
i have a normal life, i spend as little time as possible on looks. i only want to look respectable for the function i intend to perform. i work as a church secretary so that’s the kind of look i go for….clean, neat and appropriate for that function: yes, for anyone paying attention it’s clear that i am transsexual. no, many people don’t “read” me right off….i don’t much care…if they get to know me at all they will soon know that i am transsexual. since i live the kind of life i feel is worthy….i am not disappointed….it’s good for others to see that there are transsexuals in this world who aren’t obsessed with looks or trying to convince people we are something that we clearly are not.
for me it’s quite simple: “i know i look like a woman, i know this because i look like me….and i AM a woman.” it’s not about convincing others that i am not transsexual, it’s about living in harmony with who i AM…a transwoman.
i have to much to do with my time and energy to waste any of it worrying about whether some random person might “read” me. i am who and what i am and that’s a good thing…it’s by the grace of God.
i AM a woman, not a caricature of one, not an illusion of one. i am a normal woman living a normal life in harmony with the woman that i am….not the perceptions of others.
much love and hope. pj
edit: an for those poor confused people who might consider this as “martyrdom”, you just don’t get it. i am one who goes where she pleases…generally in redneck areas here in the bible belt, open and honest….and i have never been assaulted. the way i live is the opposite of martrydom….i defuse that kind of nonsense up front. when you are open, honest and unashamed of who you are you disarm that kind of prejudice up front. people are much more interested in talking with me than beating on me. i am interesting, open, honest, forthcoming and secure in who and what i REALLY am. i do not deceive anyone. it’s a rare occasion i don’t leave people with a higher respect for transsexuals than i found them. the opposite of a martyr….i am a living example of why transsexuals should never be martyred.
it’s a good, successful, positive life that advances the lives of other transsexuals: not the pathetic, narcissistic life of one in hiding and fear. i don’t have to make up a fantasy life in order to convince others i am worthy….i really AM worthy.
there’s a real world and a fantasy world…i live in the real one, in the light, in the open…i live out loud and i love it!
A question for the transgender community about Virginia Prince?
As many people within the transgender community are aware of, Virginia Prince died a few days ago at age 96. Prince was one of the more prominent and controversial figures within the trans community. She was loved, hated, and sometimes both.
As a crossdresser, I have a lot of mixed feelings about her. On one hand, I do commend her for having the courage to live life how she wanted and how she helped crossdressers form a community in a time where crossdressing or any perception of it was illegal in many places. She also made a lot of positive contributions in how the general public saw the trans community.
Transgender was a term originally coined by Prince to describe somebody like her who lived full time as the opposite sex without making permanent medical changes (a concept that Prince all but violated). Many in the HBS camp detest the shift in denotation to include them in the tern transgender, as I’m sure that Prince equally detested them being included.
However, I can’t ignore her blatant prejudices, the riffs she helped perpetuate in the trans community, and most of all her hyprocracies. As much as she contributed positively to the trans community, there was also a lot of negative aspects:
-For one, she was a complete homophobe and ensured that Tri-ess, the group that caters to heterosexual crossdressers, excluded bisexual and gay crossdressers. If you were found to be gay or bi, you were booted. However, she adored the attention she got from male admirers and even flirted with them. It has also been rumored but never confirmed that Prince had sexual relations with men.
-She blasted transsexuals up and made many ignorant comments about them, particularly anything to do with surgery. Prince also ensured that any transsexual was excluded from Tri-ess. Yet Prince did take hormones (prescribed by no less than Harry Benjammin himself), had electrolysis and breast augmentation. Physically, there was little if any difference between her and a pre-op or non-op transsexual.
-Argued that there is no sexual aspect for a “true crossdresser” while being a major fan of she-male porn.
-Had a very mysoginistic view of women and expected members of Tri-ess to behave in an outmoded and sexist “lady-like” way. Tri-ess was supposed to help crossdressers develop their feminine selves as a compliment to their masculine selves, but Prince lived full-time as a woman for over 40 years.
-There are many others.
While many people in the trans community would argue that Prince was the darling of crossdressers, I would have to disagree. While I acknowledge her place in trans history and hopes she rests in true peace, I don’t look up to her as a role mode and I most certainly have nothing to do with Tri-ess. I know she would have problems with me since I only like to have a tasteful feminine look (without cleavage or modifying my voice) but keeping my male identity intact regardless of how I dress.
I am a straight crossdresser who can’t see myself transitioning or living full time as a woman. However, I don’t see anything wrong with bi or gay crossdressers. Having met a number of MTF and FTM transsexuals in real life, I know that they do have a complete mismatch between their bodies and minds and that medically transitioning is the proper course for them given that they go through the proper steps. I also don’t see anything wrong with being any other “in-between” trans identity, such as a genderqueer, androgynus, transgenderist, etc. So long as those people are true to who they are, accepting of others, not hyprocrites, and all around good people, they are a-ok in my book.
I hope the trans community can look upon Prince and her life in general as lessons learned as well as what and what not to do. I would like to hear from other trans-identified people in terms of their opinions towards Prince and how the trans community can move beyond the prejudiced attitudes that Prince and many others had or still have. All are welcome to answer, including those from the HBS camp who see transsexuality as distinct and separate from being transgender. All I ask is that everybody gives answers that are thoughtful, tasteful, and respectful of those who have different opinions. Constructive criticisms are welcome, but please don’t display a “holier than thou” attitude. I know this is a long question, but please read all of it before answering.
Correction: Prince coined the term transgenderist, which transgender evolved out of.
I have four word to describe Charles “Virginia” Prince they are “HE WAS AN IDIOT”
Woman Born Transsexual Now Cisgendered
Living with Gender Identity Issues, practical advice?
I know I am a woman. I was born a male. I would like to ask for considered, practical advice on my situation that takes my individual circumstances into account. My concerns are, family, school, work, social, love, and financial.
My family is very bigoted. They do not like anyone who isn’t straight, white and catholic, and that’s very sad. They think gays are pedophiles. This means I will be disowned and never see my nieces and nephews again if they ever find out I like men and should be a woman. I love them like my own children, the knowledge I will loose them is unbearable. I can’t hold on; I won’t let go. It is a toxic environment, but it’s the only one I know.
I spend most of my time alone studying in law school, but it is hard to focus. Everyone else seems to have boyfriends, girlfriends, go to social events or just out drinking/whatever it is people do. Some of them are getting married, having kids, and moving on with their lives. I feel like I am wasting my youth.
At some point, I want to be a lawyer. I’ve worked hard to get here and I’m very good at what I do. The problem is that people don’t want to hire a gay lawyer or a transsexual one, because they don’t think it’s right or that the lawyer will fight for them as well. I’m quite unsure how to do anything about this. It seems I could make the best arguments possible and win the lawsuit or keep someone out of jail and none of it would matter ….
It feels like the same things would hurt me with making friends. People have a perception of how things should be, and right or wrong I don’t fit it. I don’t know who to deal with this. I’m actually a very sweet and demure person but a lot of people seem not to like gays/transsexuals and not know what to do with them or how we fit in. I’m still scared to go out in public because of bathrooms. I can’t legally go into a ladies room but I am NOT going into a mens’ room wearing a dress and heels. That’s just asking to be beaten up .
The same concerns hold true with finding love. Then of course there’s the question of who I can find love with as a woman. Straight men don’t seem to like the idea of dating someone who was once a man and gay men want other men, not a woman. So, who the heck do you go on a date with? For that matter could I marry a man if I changed into a woman? I’d also like to be a mother at some point if possible. This is biologically impossible so can i adopt in the U.S.?
Finally, fiances are a real concern. Any major surgery is expensive. I imagine hormone therapy and possible breast augmentation area also expensive. Insurance lists it as a “cosmetic” procedure and does not pay for it. How on earth do you come up with what must be tens of thousands of dollars for this treatment?
Any constructive advice is appreciated.
Sounds like you’re describing my family. lol
These are the same questions we all have to deal with. The problem is that the answers are going to be a little different for each person.
Like answer # 4 said don’t try to look at the at the big picture till your ready. You don’t build a house all at once. Start with a one part at a time.
As already mentioned find a local group for support and find a good gender therapist both of these will invaluable in your journey.
Then start working on all these issues one at a time. You obviously won’t solve them one at a time but you will come to terms with them and have an idea of how to work with each.
Losing family and friends is hard but many do. Nothing worth having in life is free and without some risk. If this happens it’s not your fault, it’s theirs. You can’t live your life through someone else’s eyes. If they truly care about your happiness and quality of life they will accept this. If not, your better off moving on without them. That’s a hard thing to say and harder to do but it’s the truth.
In the end they will go on with their lives and you will be left behind. They will have had fulfilling lives and you will not. This I know to be fact. So please learn from the cost of my lessons.
This is your life not theirs, you only get one and this is it.
Make a plan; Go forward, Never Look back.
Why do people separate mental and physical health though they are sensitively dependent on each other?
I get at this because, in part, of the treatment of transgendered/transsexual individuals.
In this community your left out in the cold in a lot of cases to take care of your condition alone. Most of us don’t even have the option to see a therapist to get the okay for hormone therapy much less anything else. This results in suicides, attempts, and self-medicating which can be equally dangerous. But fundamentally what I see is this… Doctors can refuse to give you hormones on the premise that they could have negative impacts on your health and that it’s psychological, and insurance companies won’t cover them because they say “It’s not like your going to die without them”.
Is there is disconnect for the providers in which “Yes, this patient could die without hormones, but not from medical complications, but psychological side effects” just slips their mind? On another approach, if a woman is suicidally depressed about her breast size they’ll okay breast augmentation, but if a transwoman has the same issue she can’t even get insurance to cover a consult. In spite of the lobbying in the AMA and APA there still seems to be a serious issue of coverage, not just for surgeries, and hormones, but for generally accepted forms of transgender care and feminine preventative care like (mammograms, pap smear (post SRS), hair loss treatment, et cetera). Not only do I feel we deserve to be treated like women in the sense of medical care, (where applicable) but I think we should be able to get the same standards of care and coverage.
I know that for some, there is still the disconnect in the belief that trangenderism is an idea that involves the lifestyle of one living as the opposite gender in spite of the medical evidence supporting the contrary. But the basic problem still exists, why do they separate the mental and physical aspect when in a condition like Gender Identity Disorder (DSM-IV~TR) are sensitively dependent. I just don’t think that one should be separate from the other. The mind can’t live without the body, and like-wise the counter is true as well (the body can’t live without the mind). I’d like to know my doctors would save my life if I suffered a condition that may cause me to commit suicide eventually. They treat bipolar, and clinical depression as such, why not GID?
You are just about spot on with all your observations. The answer is simple. Transsexual people represent a ridiculously small minority amongst the insured, and insurance companies are not going to provide for anything not currently covered unless forced to by legislation or government pressure. Even though the financial impact on the system would be negligible (it’s been estimated at a couple of cents per person), they just won’t do it unless forced.
The legal decision that forced the IRS to allow Transition expenses as deductions came primarily as a result of one Trans-woman’s costly legal battle, which took years, and could be easily overturned in the future at a judges whim. That is how little representation the Transsexual community has in the legislative processes in our country.
One bright spot is the recent declaration by the HRC (human rights commission) that in order for corporations to receive a score of 10 from the HRC, they must offer at least one insurance option that provides for Gender Transition coverage. This will encourage providers to at least add such coverage to *some* of their corporately targeted policies, though they probably won’t include such coverage in plans for individuals or small businesses. It is a start though.
Certain cities are also providing coverage for city employees, which sets another good precedent.
What is so incredibly frustrating is the hypocrisy that fuels the insurance industry. A single organ transplant can cost 0,000, and there’s no guarantee it will take, or that the patient will survive. That amount would pay for 20 SRS surgeries, which we know statistically have a better than 95% success rate. It would seem like a no-brainer, but because there are no reliable statistics on mortality rates due to Transsexualism, we have little ammunition to pressure the insurance industry with. The blurring of social “gender variance” with genuine Transsexualism doesn’t help. The average person has no idea what the difference is between “transgendered” and “transsexual.” Hell, many transsexual PEOPLE don’t know. Too many Transsexual people get themselves involved in subcultures such as drag, cross-dressing, fetishes, porn, prostitution, etc, which depict gender variance as a choice, or a lifestyle. Street hormones, self-medication, backdoor surgeries, illegal procedures like silicone injections, not to mention the huge business of “shemale porn” that has proliferated on the internet has solidified in many people’s minds that Transgendered = deviant behavior, or mental illness, which in some cases may be true, but certainly is not the case for the majority of Transsexual people.
Another huge obstacle is the inclusion of Transsexualism in the DSM under the idiotic nomenclature “Gender Identity Disorder.” This is a completely inaccurate representation of what Transsexualism is, and at this point even the psychiatric community concedes that Transsexual people are not suffering from mental illness. Transsexualism needs to be REMOVED from the DSM in totem. It is not a mental disorder. Transsexual people KNOW what their gender identity is. They simply want their bodies to match their minds. Transsexualism is a physical condition. It is ONLY the dysphoria that Transsexualism produces that causes temporary psychiatric conditions such as depression or thoughts of suicide. These are symptomatic of the underlying condition. The incongruous feelings that Transsexual people experience originate entirely because of the body/brain mismatch, not because there is mental illness present.
The trouble is, the DSM is used internationally, and in many countries with socialized medicine it endorses a legitimate medical condition, which must then be covered by the health-care system. For Transsexual people in places like Canada and the UK, G.I.D. is what allows them to Transition and get surgery through their nationalized health-care. In American, the DSM works against us. Worse still is that morons like Blanchard and Zucker are on the panel that is responsible for the next revision of the DSM (version V) and they are doing everything they can to keep their idiotic theories of Autogynephilia and Repairative Therapy relevant. The latest I’ve heard is that they now want to call Transsexualism “Gender Incongruity”, which is better, but still not accurate, and they are still pushing to keep a “fetishistic version” of gender identity disorder in the book.
We have a growing body of health-care providers, therapists, psychiatrists, surgeons, legal professionals and of course Transsexual people who are becoming incensed at the dismissive attitude insurance companies in America have taken towards a serious, physical birth condition that has been incontrovertibly proven to be deadly if left untreated, and which needs to be corrected in order for people to live healthy, functional lives. Our insurance premiums continue to rise, while deductibles go up, coverage decreases, and red-tape increases. The only way change is going to happen is when enough people organize and pressure legislators to pass legislation that forces insurance companies to acknowledge Transsexualism for what it is… a serious physical birth condition that when left untreated can result in death.
Do most gay people like being categorized or even support transsexuals?
It seems to me the 2 groups are totally different. I now understand gay. Its like me, except I have a strong uncontrollable desire to be with woman, where as a gay man would have the same feeling towards another man.Gays accept the way they were born, and want everyone else to accept the way they were born. So are a lot of gay people against sex reassignment surgery. It kinda goes against their philosophy of accepting the way you were born and not trying to change, just being your natural self. I personally am against any surgery that alters your looks, including breast augmentations,penile enlargements, face lifts, sex changes, and so forth. It seems like playing with and altering nature to me. Just curious as to different views on this. I am trying to better understand things. Is transsexual even the right word for people who have sexual reassignment surgery if not sorry. like I said still tryin to understand everything here. thanks all.
Honestly, most gay people do not like being categorized with transsexuals and do not support them. Nonetheless, transsexual insist on being associated with gay people–for no other reason that I can see than to avail themselves of gay and Lesbian community resources, while pursuing their own bizarre agenda of (apparently) unisex bathrooms and the memorializing of dead transsexual prostitutes. Frankly, until their recent clamorous insistence on joining gay and Lesbian organizations, I’d never thought twice about these unfortunate creatures, except to shudder at their hideous cosmetic surgical mutilation, and to shrink from their raucous and sometimes violent protests–like the Compton Cafeteria “tranny riots” of 1966 in San Francisco.
Transsexuals do you agree?
HRT- 100$ a month
Breast augmentation- 5,000$
Telling the guy who’s flirting with you that you have a penis- Priceless
[I know most of u wont find this funny but I had to share it, cuz it does amuse me to see their reaction]
I remembered how much it amuses me when I watch this lol:
@Randy: Wtf does this have to do with gays? And if you watch the end of that video you see why its a funny vid.
You have to have a sense of humor to make it in the world.
Cost of a funeral. ,000.00 – ,000.00
Denver you have been given an incredible opportunity most of us never had. At times I wonder if you are intentionally sabotaging it. I don’t know if you have actually done this but if you have you are incredibly foolish. What ya gonna do when some guy has no sense of humor and puts you in a hospital or worse.
To transition at your age takes incredible maturity, it’s time you start showing it.
In a recent question it left me feeling that many felt the costs incurred in full transition were small.I am not simply talking SRS only,full feminization.Granted several of these procedures can be combined to save money but not always achievable.
2) GRS / SRS Genital Surgery
(including Surgeons Fees, Hospital, Anesth and Supplies.
3) Breast Augmentation
4) Tracheal Shave
5) FFS surgery – Forehead recontouring,Scalp advancement,Trachea shave,hospital fees and misc.
6) Hair removal
7) Vocal Feminization,Surgery
8) Body sculpting ie Liposuction
9) Transportation costs
10) Therapist visits
11) Doctor ie encrologist
mtfradgal,OMG that’s the most outstanding response.You have just made my day before work.
I see so much advise given in the past about your this or that,they just don’t get it.You can still have SRS and look like a mack truck,there’s much more involved here.I think passibility come in here somewhere.
In so many sites they stress a plan on transition,usually passability is a leader.It doesn’t matter if your a rocket scientist or a day laborer.Thank you.
This is really funny,I thought I would ask this question to get accurate advice from givers out here.Was this a bait and trap?.Absolutely!!!!!!.
If your going to give advice make certain you can back up your claims by fact not what you read or believe in a fantisy world!!!.Don’t refer me to a website of which you have no intension of being.
I live,work,believe,carry out everyday duties as a woman.I work construction,own my own business,and at least somewhat succesfull.
Call me cd/tv/tg/ts,who cares?.I don’t,I’m a woman!!!.
Reguardless if your a rocket scientist or a day laborer,have your facts right and live by what you preach.
Ian,she is right on this one.I will say here that it all depends on the person.As we grow older much depends on our own chemistry and body.
With that being said consult with a reputable plastic suregon that deals with the transgender.
Don’t let any of the ill advised label her,after all she is a woman.Worry about your life and screw the others.
I spent about ,000 on:
Facial Electrolysis-about 150 hours over a 4 year period
HRT-medicine costs money, even when gotten on-line.
Therapy-dozens of sessions at 0 a pop
IPL (laser)-To get rid of body hair that HRT didn’t
Endo visits-0-500 depending if labs were drawn or not
SRS and BAS-k
Lots of various transportation costs/hotels etc
Anybody that says this is a lark, whim, or a phase doesn’t know what the hell they’re talking about. Same goes for the bigots out there (and you know who you are) who try to convince others that this is a “serious mental disorder”. Any respectable gender expert on the planet will tell you it’s a birth condtion. Transition takes years, money, huge amounts of drive and self-confidence in oneself.
The good news is in then end it is sooooo worth it, to finally be whole in mind, body and spirit.
Spiritually speaking, why do transsexuals have to undergo psychological consultation and approval before…?
…reassignment surgery? Shouldn’t the SRS candidate know their self whether or not they want one or not? Why isn’t the GLBT community opposed of these requirements, requirements that questions a SRS candidates motives?
From the site:
“In order to ensure the SRS candidate is fully aware that some irreversible changes will occur even with hormone therapy alone, and that often difficult psychological changes will be experienced, initiation of psychological counseling is highly recommended beginning six months prior to the initiation of hormone therapy and continuing through the entire SRS process.”
“Most surgeons who perform SRS have very strict requirements and protocols. For example, many surgeons require two legitimate psychiatric evaluations from either psychiatrists or psychologists recognized or licenses in the field of gender identity. These evaluations must state that the individual is an appropriate candidate for SRS or, indeed, even for breast augmentation (if from male-to-female). One surgeon from Wisconsin is hesitant to even schedule a consultation to discuss the procedure unless the candidate has had at least nine months of counseling and psychiatric evaluation. Under some protocols, the candidate is required to meet eligibility criteria for sexual reassignment as listed in the DSM IV, ICD 10. Even then, the surgeon retains the right to have the final consultation with the candidate the day prior to surgery. Ensuring the candidate is absolutely certain about their choice is critical, for once the surgery has been performed, it is totally irreversible.”
Why should the final say be in the hands of the surgeon and not the candidate?
So what of the people who don’t pass approval? Are they told that they are not transsexual or not ready to be one yet? If that was the case then doesn’t that mean that it is an applied or desired need?
So why would they change their minds? It is not a choice…right…..RIGHT????
So you are calling them crazy, even I didn’t make that connection. Interesting.
Okay so where does choice come into all of this? If people are born that way, then what right does anybody have to question their motives?
What repurcussions? They wanted to be the opposite sex, that makes no sense.
This is a rant, and this is not the right category. It is very appropriate to make people wait for a year before a decision like that. Some do change their minds even after amount of time. Sorry, but you need some psychological help.